This appeared in this month's
Harper's. It's 'Don't Go There,' a script for one of 24 radio ads targeting black voters, aired during the 2006 elections and produced by
America's PAC.
DENNIS: The night's still young! Let's head to the river and try out the slots!
MICHAEL: Naw, I gotta get home. I promised Kathleen I'd help the kids with their homework.
DENNIS: You know, the Army really changed you.
MICHAEL: War does that. It makes you value what you're fighting for.
DENNIS: So I suppose you want me to vote Republican, like you and your soldier buddies.
MICHAEL: Not at all. You've got no reason to.
DENNIS: How's that?
MICHAEL: Well, you don't work for a living. So what do you care about keeping taxes low?
DENNIS: Hey, that's cold.
MICHAEL: You cheat on your wife. So why would you want an amendment to protect marriage?
DENNIS: A man's got to do what a man's got to do.
MICHAEL: And I know you're not going to enlist to defend your country.
DENNIS: Not everyone's as slow as you are, bro.
MICHAEL: And if you make a little mistake with one of your hos, you'll want to dispose of the problem toot sweet, no questions asked, right?
DENNIS: Naw, that's too cold. I don't snuff my own seed.
MICHAEL: Huh. Really? Well, maybe you do have a reason to vote Republican!
Okay, I hope it doesn't seem like I'm obsessed with this guy, but here are some
Lil' Wayne lyrics--a verse from 'Leather So Soft,' from his new
Like Father Like Son record (here's the
video). And, just for yuks, a verse from
Jay-Z's 'Can't Knock the Hustle,' from his first album,
Reasonable Doubt, which was released in 1996 (and, again, here's the
video). Lyrics, in both cases, are from
OHHLA and unedited:
I get money hoe fuck what you talkin' 'bout
Straight out the slaughterhouse straight out the dragon's mouth
Fire you can't put out tires are standin' out
The coupe look pigeon-toed I be in a different mode
I be wit' them different hoes No I mean them different hoes
I mean them Weezy bumbaclot different hoes
And as far as terrific goes
They kiss that dick wit' no mistletoes
Diamonds and pearls and pussyholes snortin' coke til they nose bleed
I'm sittin' high on them inches I'm in the nosebleeds
I'm on a paper chase until my toes bleed
Then I get on these beats and let my soul bleed
I put 'em in ya head and watch the holes bleed
My rag always red like when them hoes bleed
Now that's coldbleed I mean cold blooded
And I'm so southern that's why my leather so soft
Okay, that's the Wayne, now here's the Jay:
Yo, y'all niggaz lunchin, punchin the clock
My function is to make much and lay back munchin
Sippin Remy on the rocks, my crew, somethin to watch
Nothin to stop, un.. ..stoppable
Scheme on the ice, I gotta hot your crew
I gotta, let you niggaz know the time like Movado
My motto, stack rocks like Colorado
Auto off the champagne, Cristal's by the bottle
It's a damn shame what you're not though (who?) Me
Slick like a gato, fuckin Jay-Z
My pops knew exactly what he did when he made me
Tried to get a nut and he got a nut and what
Straight bananas; can a nigga, see me?
Got the US Open, advantage Jigga
Serve like Sampras, play fake a rappers like a campus
Le Tigre, son you're too eager
You ain't havin it? Good, me either
Let's, get together and make this whole world believe us huh?
At my arraignment, screamin
all us blacks got is sports and entertainment, until we even
Thievin, as long as I'm breathin
Can't knock the way a nigga eatin - fuck you even!
And, as a reward for reading two rap verses, maybe you'd prefer Jay with
the Roots band, or
Beyonce, or
John Stamos. And
here's Wayne showing off his purple stretch PT Cruiser with 'Hot Boys' stenciled on its rear end. And here are some more lyrics: Wayne's '
Georgia Bush,' a mixtape outro song, and Nas' '
Black Republicans,' which features a Jay guest verse and isn't really all that political. And did you know that Wayne is matriculating at
this institution?
