That BBC News neologism contest
to a couple weeks ago? I sent in an entry. My count is 146 words, 62 of 'em from their list. These are pretty good numbers. Admittedly, though, the word count involves the conceit that list items like 'fast food' and 'dumbed down' must therefore be one word, and the other word count involves the conceit that 'sexy mobile phone' contains within it 'sex' and 'mobile' (all are on the list). At any rate, here's the entry. The Beeb, alas, awards special consideration for coherence.
Sexed up, pissed off and dumbed down, I Googled for virtual reality cyborg cybersex. I double-clicked, but before I saw a single byte of It-girl love-in applet URLs, my mobile phone went tiddly-om-pom-pom. Text-messaged by Chav, a Generation X dot-commer. Chav was non-U. The peacenik hippy beatnik fancied himself a ghetto fabulous hip-hop gangsta celeb, but his beatboxing was worse than Watergate. "Fast food latte tonight? We'll have it large, dunk cheeseburgers!" I tried to ad-lib. "OK, yah. Bling bling!" F-word! Chav's DNA has the Trekkie gene--the Big Apple, with this Mickey Mouse toyboy? That's my idea of sudden death. "Awesome cool," he replied. I was hot-desking, dreading the evening. The tailspin was turning into a snafu when inspiration struck. I texted him again: "Forgot about Mom's birthday. Pop bought her a Wonderbra, kitten heels and some sexy-hemlined miniskirts. Big brother and I are going in on Botox." Sure, I lied, but it’s not like it was a U-boat blitzkrieg or something.